Henry Louis Granju October 7, 1991 – May 31, 2010
Perhaps the best way to get to know Henry is by reading the eulogy that his father, Chris Granju delivered at Henry’s memorial service on June 5, 2010.
A Eulogy for Henry Louis Granju
On Monday evening all of us here lost part of our lives. Henry’s mother Katie and I lost one of the three people on earth who have given our lives purpose, direction and meaning since we were barely older than Henry was when we lost him this week. Henry’s brother Elliot and sisters Jane and Charlotte, as well as the new baby sister who will soon join our family have lost their role model, guide, entertainer and dearest friend. We have all lost a grandson, a nephew, a cousin, and most of all, a friend.
Henry was born an old, wise soul to very young parents who loved him desperately from the first moment we felt him kick. The day of his birth, October 7, 1991, was one of those perfectly crisp East Tennessee fall days where the sun shines brighter and the blue sky seems endless. It was a day celebrated with much excitement by a huge and loving circle of family and friends who went on to surround Henry with continuing adoration for the next 18 years.
And our boy loved his family powerfully. He lived for his younger siblings, and he always had time to play with one of his many young cousins. He leaves behind an entire younger generation of our family who will never, ever forget their handsome, charismatic, guitar playing Henry.
Henry felt terribly guilty for the pain his addiction caused to those who loved him. He knew he was loved, but he didn’t always recognize the many gifts he brought us all. Henry was a brilliant, beautiful baby and child who from the very beginning, simply felt the world more deeply than most of the rest of us. This special sensitivity was both his blessing and his curse. His inborn and intense empathy and intuition gifted him with a natural creativity that he expressed musically and in writing. However, it also caused him great suffering, a suffering that he never seemed to be able to shake completely, and which he eventually attempted to mask in ways that hurt him more than they helped him. Henry was – in so many ways – just too sensitive for the world into which he was born.
Henry taught us about love and peace. He was deeply hurt when he saw injustice in the world on any level. He was one of those guys who would speak up for the kid in the class on whom others were picking, and he was genuinely disturbed by the cruel injustices we see every day in this world. His strong natural sense of compassion – something rare and powerful – was of the type that can change the world if given the chance to blossom. But Henry left us before he ever left his own childhood behind, so he never had the opportunity to share that potential as fully as he might have.
Life with Henry was never dull. He had the debating skills of a trained lawyer and the culinary tastes of a teenage boy …with really bad taste. Henry taught us an appreciation for such culinary delights as Taquitos – fried, raman noodles with hot sauce and curry powder, sushi as comfort food, gummy and sour anything, and of course the joys of enormous quantities of ginger ale and sierra mist.
Henry was a natural history buff and an encyclopedia of knowledge from before he could read.. As a young child, he carried around a tattered Illustrated Encyclopedia of World History and asked anyone who would to read a section to him. Later, I remember one of his middle school birthday parties when his friends weren’t allowed to watch anything but PG rated movies, so he chose an unrated movie about Fidel Castro’s life as the movie for all his friends to watch. Among other surprises that night was hearing him explain to his somewhat confused guests how Fidel was a “good guy’ at the beginning of the movie, but that “now he was a bad guy.” It was priceless.
Henry could always take our minds off the troubling and mundane and take us to a place where we could see the joy and laughter that is always around us if we allow ourselves to look. He was our family’s practical joker, continually entertaining us with his sometimes outrageous but always clever wit. He especially loved to tease Jane and Elliot, and in fact, when our family was talking about what music to play during the service today, his sister Jane suggested Jack Johnson’s “Good People,” and explained to us how her brother had once convinced her the song was called “where have all the blue people gone?” and she had found herself arguing with her friends about the “blue people,” much to Henry’s amusement.
I also remember how we were all madly entertained the time he lightened up a bumper-to-bumper traffic jam on a family trip in Pigeon Forge by getting on the PA system installed in our Suburban and starting to play the role of tour guide to all the cars around us, offering ridiculous made-up-on-the-fly facts about such sights as the Smoky Mountain helicopter tour pad, and a random mini mart. He had everyone in our truck and everyone in the cars around us rolling in laughter. Even though his brother and sister were often unwitting accessories to his jokes, we all got a smile from his ceaselessly creative sense of humor, including the time he convinced his mother for several hours that he had signed her up to take in a Lithuanian foster child who would be arriving by plane that very evening.
Today, our family feels completely bereft. We are lost and confused. We have missed our Henry every moment since he left us Monday evening, and it’s impossible to imagine the lifetime ahead without him. He was the light of our lives and it’s hard to see the way forward without that light.
For me, Henry came into my life at a time when I was especially young and dumb. I feel lucky to have been able to tell Henry in his final hours that his presence in my life gave me the motivation to turn my life around so I could be there for him. Not a day has passed in the past 18 years when I haven’t been thankful for that gift.
Before he died, I believe Henry’s spirit of peace and love brought another very special gift to our family. Over the last month, as we joined one another to attend to Henry and support one another through his fight for his life, he was showing us all that we can put our differences in the past and be one big, loving blended family, as Henry always wanted. We are now forever reunited by his love in a powerful way. It was his special gift to all of us, and especially to his little brother and sisters. We treasure that gift and will never again take it for granted.
Henry, you have been my son, my friend, my teacher, my bandmate and my collaborator in the ridiculous sense of humor we shared. As I was writing this, I thought of the Crosby Stills Nash & Young song, “Teach Your Children.” Henry, you have taught me and all of us so much about life, love and what really matters. I feel sad to realize that I won’t be able to share another knowing smile with you when something comes up that I know you and I would think is funny even if no one else would get it. I feel sad that I will not be able to experience your unfaltering dedication to justice, compassion and love – even in the face of the cruelest realities that life can throw at us.
Thank you for sharing 18 years with all of us. We love you and will miss you. We will never stop telling your story, and your gifts will live on to help others.
You have left the world a better place than you found it. Thank you. We love you Henry.
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WBIR Channel 10 in Knoxville, TN produced this documentary about our family’s loss, and my teenage son Henry’s struggle with addiction.
This is our story. Just one family’s story. Every family’s story is different, but we are sharing our own openly in hopes that it might help others.
Please visit WBIR’s Facebook page and leave a message there, thanking them directly for putting the time and resources into producing and airing this 100% commercial-free program as a community service. And if you are interested in learning more about what our family is doing to fight drug addiction in Henry’s memory, please visit Henry’s Fund.
Click the video player below to watch “Henry’s Story.”
Katie,
You are such an inspiration to me and to thousands out here following this story. Your precious son, Henry, would be so proud of you and your family for not letting up. In reading more of this story this morning, I think that even more. Knowing that he was the kind of kid who was so compassionate, and stood up for what is right. My 22 yr old son, I will call him J, has been fighting addiction since he was about 14 also. I hope and pray that he is clean and sober today, but I sure do worry about it sometimes. The years of oupt treatment @ the Lighthouse, inpt treatment @ Peninsula, 53 days of inpt @ the Scholtz Center in Chattanooga ( the adolescent part of CADAS), the 21 days in juvenile and talking to him on the phone with a glass between us with him wearing the orange jumpsuit, the going before a judge in Sevier County who mad me feel like I was the biggest piece of crap parent ther ever was!, paying a lawyer $4000 because I was scared to death they were going to take my baby away and put him in state custody!, Taking him to a Suboxone clinic and paying a fortune in an effort to help him get clean, probation appts, hundreds of appts with a Psychologist, and then getting a Psychiatrist involved to hlp manage medications. My point here is that I understand the having a child with an addiction. My child is a beautiful, very intelligent, fun loving, witty, compassionate child. I remember the pschhologist telling me that J had a tremendous need to please people. I’ve been an RN for 24 yrs and thought that I was knowledgable about much of this, but the truth is that I had NO idea that my child was using drugs for a long time after he started. My kids were my world. I was there every single day. I would’ve never imagined this happening to one of my kids. I told our awesome pediatrician years ago that someday when my kids were a little older that I wanted to do community education about this subject that is tearing so many lives apart. I’m behind you Katie, more than you will ever know. Although I’ve never met you, my heart feels so close to you. Hugs and Kisses to you my friend.
If you haven’t already please contact your state Attorney General as well as your elected officials and involved them in pursuing an investigation.
Dear Katie,
I am so, so sorry for not only losing your precious son, but also the way the authorities have handled the investigation. Even though you will probably never have closure, I hope your blog will cause the authorities to investigate this horrendous crime and eventually hold the person(s) responsible for taking such a remarkable young man’s life. You are a true inspiration and I know Henry is so proud of you. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. Best, Leigh Ann
Thank you so much for sharing your amazing story with all of us! I have 1 daughter and 2 sons~ they will watch this video with me. Please know that for each person that emails you with negative words, there are one hundered of us who are touched deep in our souls by Henry. I write this comment through a sea of tears, but not just because of sadness at Henry’s struggles, but the joy of his life that you have shared with all of us. What a son you had…what a son. Bless you all.
Google for Nonprofits (http://www.google.com/nonprofits/index.html) allows you to post videos of any length… perhaps look into registering Henry’s Fund with Google?
Hi Katie,
My name is Ashley Brown and I have worked for SUWS of the Carolinas for about 6 years. I have decided to pursue work with adolescents, paying close attention to substance abuse issues, and am currently in school to recieve my LCSW and LCAS. I am currently involved with an event called Ride 4 Recovery. It is a ride around the Smoky Mountains on the parkway in order to build awareness about those who struggle with addiction and those who have passed, all or in part, from the battle. I thought of you and thought you might want to contribute. There are several options, you may send $25 and have Henry’s name printed on the back of our T-shirt commemorating his life. If financial support is not something that interests you, I can send you a flyer and you can help us spread the word. Please let me know know if this is something you are interested in. Feel free to contact me at any time at this email address or at 615-944-5400.
I saw this linked via Instapundit in connection with the druggie judge. This doesn’t tell me a thing worth knowing. His family loved him: OF COURSE his family loved him. He was a gentle sensitive soul: that gets said about at least half the people who die. He had a drug problem: this wasn’t even ever stated explicitly on here but can be read between the lines – but it shouldn’t be NECESSARY to read between the lines. . Then, finally – how did he die? Why did he die? What about his death requires a correction via posthumous “Justice”? Not one freaking word about that. What in the world is the point, then?
Be clear. Be direct. Communicate what needs saying.
I went and looked at the “Case Timeline”. I found this, with absolutely no further details: “May 31, 2010 – Henry dies after 5 weeks of hospitalization. ”
How in the world does that happen? With modern medicine, that is pretty close to impossible short of massive critical organ failure and/or pervasive cancer or something similar – if you’re still alive after the first week, the system can keep you going indefinitely, even if your brain is mush and they’re replacing half your body with machinery. What was the cause of death? Why does the timeline never mention the three guys who beat him up and presumably inflictued the eventually-fatal injuries, subsequent to the altercation? Why is there no detail on what their REASONS were for assaulting him? There is always a reason for violence, even if it is “He’s a wimp and I wanted to”. For three at once to have the same idea at the same time indicates a somewhat more substantial reason, what was it?
If you’re going to put up a site called “Justice for Henry” and have an “About” page, see to it that the “About” page actually tells visitors what the whole thing is actually ABOUT. If you want the public to understand your message and act on it, you need to actually communicate what that message is. This one doesn’t. It’s a waste of electrons.
The case timeline is a work in progress, but it does state the events that occurred that led to Henry’s death. If you had read more than the first and last entries, you would know. If you want all the complete details of how Henry died and why this site came to be, go HERE and start reading the linked posts, then keep reading from March 11, 2011 forward.
The About Page is about Henry, as a person, not about the investigation into his death – or lack thereof. I do hope you take the time to read and know this story, because it is very important … this could happen to anyone’s kid, anywhere, at any time and as long as law enforcement continues to fail to do its job, it will continue.